3:15 AM, Central. My Sleep Focus is on. The room is dark, quiet, finally level. Then— that shrill, unmistakable Facebook Messenger ringtone slices straight through the silence.
I grab my phone, hit the sleep button, assume that’ll be enough. It isn’t. It rings again. And this time, I realize it’s a video call from someone I don’t even recognize.
I let it ring a few seconds, hoping they’ll get bored. No luck. I hit Ignore. They try again. Then a message pops up: “Suck my dick, okay?”
My brain does that flat, tired blink it does when something is both disgusting and predictable. Absolutely not. I don’t even know you.
After the fourth or fifth ignore attempt, I do what actually works: I press the volume down button. VoiceOver users know the trick — it cuts the ringtone across every app. The call banner stays on my screen like a fungus for way too long, but eventually, it dies. I mute them permanently. I go back to bed.
Morning. Breakfast. A bit of peace. Then another stranger starts the exact same routine — multiple video call attempts, escalating urgency. I ignore all of it. Eventually, they stop.
Now I’m left with the practical question: Do I keep using Reduce Interruptions, or switch to a mode that blocks Messenger entirely?
Because here’s the problem: once your writing gains momentum, people you don’t know suddenly decide they’re entitled to your time, attention, and body. And the constant interruptions make it harder for the actual people in my life to reach me. They think I’m ignoring them, or that I don’t care, especially the ones I’m not in daily contact with.
My closest contacts use the New Jersey number I created before shutting down Colorado and switching to a southern area code. Messenger is for everyone else, and “everyone else” is a flood.
I check it when my system can handle the noise. But after a few arguments with people I love about delayed responses, I still worry sometimes: Does someone think I’m deliberately turning a blind eye? (No pun intended. And yes, I laughed at myself too.)
#Boundaries #Accessibility #Voiceover #DigitalLife #UnwantedContact